I'm not the type to be wish washy when it comes to making a decision or having an opinion. :/ That gets me into trouble sometimes. But sometimes it helps. Like I thought it would come in handy when I went to try on wedding dresses. I just assumed that I would know when I tried on "the one". Like the girls on Kleinfeld's. But here I was tonight being that wish washy girl. I told Aimee that I can't figure out who the heck I was. I liked them, some more than others, but the price, coupled with my lack of yoga lately, and knowing that since it's a sale it might not be here tomorrow. Ack! Something about that combination made me indecisive and unsure. We had a good, memorable time. But we walked away without a dress. Which is fine. The part that concerns me is being so unsure. I'm unsure about a flower, a style, a venue. I'm undecided if I like this bridesmaid dress or this one. I feel each decision narrows the field and changes the tone of the wedding. This one day that kinda defines who you are. I mean, it's usually the biggest party you'll ever throw for yourself. I've never done that before and I guess I just want to do it right. I want it to reflect Josh and I.
I vowed to Josh before we got engaged that I wouldn't be that girl. The one who stresses out and cries about things that don't really matter. Him and my mom laughed. They didn't believe me. So, I made a silent decision that I was going to show them I could handle it. I've been doing so well. They would hopefully say so too.
Tonight though, well, tonight was the closet I've gotten to shedding a little tear. Not because I didn't find a dress, but because of everything.
J, it's just a party. One day out of hundreds of thousands you'll experience. Just one day.
